Anderson Cooper Upset by Cornel West's Morality

The corporate anchor immediately regrets hosting a guest who tells the truth

Longterm viewers of the show may remember an old corporation called CNN, a once widely-watched network whose viewers have dwindled to a small cult of aging BlueAnon followers. The hosts of this corporation never interview anyone who disagrees with their pro-war agenda and so never have to acknowledge any hard-to-swallow facts about the US military industrial complex.

Until…

Anderson Cooper was struck with the unheard-of idea to interview a left presidential candidate: Dr. Cornel West. And when Cornel confronted Anderson with the notion that Putin’s invasion of Ukraine might not be so different than the US invasion of Iraq, the panicked regret sank in, and a stuttering Anderson Cooper bravely fought off the horrible idea, whispering to himself “Russia bad US good” over and over until the awful thoughts went away.

Once the interview finally ended, Anderson had a refreshing cleanse by interviewing career Democrat strategist James Carville, who rubbed Anderson’s belly and told him that Cornel West was just a Russian agent like Jill Stein. And in the end, as he was lulled to a soft, forgetful sleep, Anderson Cooper learned his lesson to never have anyone outside the corporate echo chamber on his show ever again.

Plus, MSNBC assures you their audience has absolutely zero conspiracy theorists (other than the Russiagaters) and MTG whips out Hunter Biden dick picks on the floor of Congress.

There’s a whole lot to throw down, and Katie and Aaron are ready to go. It’s our Thursday bonus episode. Let us know in the comments what corporate media monologues, interviews, or anything else you want to see on the next Thursday Throwdown.

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