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SOTU Drinking Game: The Absurd Arena – Useful Idiots Discussion Board
Hey Useful Idiots,
Turns out I’m a fool. I thought I’d have a lovely Tuesday, sit at The Bean and type up the fun Absurd Arena I promised after last week’s heavy one. I even opened up the Useful Idiots chat (if you don’t have the Substack app, get it. going to start hosting chats there a lot) to ask my fellow idiots for some fun ideas to write about, like, as I promised, who in Congress would look dumbest in bike shorts.
And then I remembered the awful news, worse than having to watch the Sunday news shows so that you don’t have to: tonight is the self-pleasuring propaganda-spreading war-mongering smarmier-than-ever State of the Union. Now the fool has that to look forward to for the evening.
If, as Walter Kirn put it, the New York Times is now filled with “All the President’s Mice,” then tonight the US Capitol is infested with rats, scurrying into the halls of Congress, screeching for any mention of war, pooping all over the seats of American democracy, gnashing their sharpened teeth, ready to tear apart the Constitution for a chance at more rat power.
But then the chat reminded me of the two things that Useful Idiots have been forced to become better and better at as the world has submerged deeper and deeper into filth: making fun of politicians and drinking games.
So for this Absurd Arena, let’s unveil the official Useful Idiots SOTU Drinking Game rules: Take a sip when Biden says “defend democracy.” Take a shot when he mentions the balloon. Finish the whole bottle if Zelenskyy shows up for a surprise video address. Those are mine, probably already enough to get sufficiently wasted. What do you got?
Comment yours and then watch it live with Katie at 9pm.
As usual, the best comments and questions will be read on the show. Here’s the prompt:
What are more rules for the Useful Idiots State of the Union Drinking Game?
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